Partnership

Discipling The Sandwich Generation

September 12, 2022 by Katrina Tatum

group of people standing near white building

Before the start of a new school year, our family decided to take a vacation. This was our first major family vacation since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic and served as a celebration of the milestones for three of our children. Our youngest daughter was beginning her senior year of college, our middle son was beginning his freshman year in college, and our youngest son (our last child at home) was beginning his sophomore year in high school.

In preparation for our trip, we made sure the following were checked off our list:

Prepare our teams at work
Reserve a boarder for our dog
Schedule lawn services
Arrange mail pick up
Ensure care for my mom

You see, I am a part of an intergenerational, blended family that strives diligently to love God and each other well. And while we do not require childcare arrangements any longer, we are in that season of life where we need parent care. We need to make sure we have a system in place for daily check-ins and on-the-ground support for my mother. In short, I’m part of the sandwich generation.

We are a part of The Sandwich Generation.

SeniorLiving.com defines The Sandwich Generation as “individuals “sandwiched” between aging parents and adult children. They are often put in the position to care for both their children and parents simultaneously, many times providing both emotional and financial support.”

But how often do we, the church, speak specifically to this unique life stage? So many churches create strategies to disciple children and youth, connect with parents of those under 18, engage twenty-somethings (as best we can), and care for the elderly. But what about those who are in between the far ends of the age spectrum? How are we intentionally connecting with people who are feeling “the caregiving crunch”? (As reported in January 2020 by AARP.)

We would be wise to not forget those that are juggling the challenges and joys of living in the middle, within The Sandwich Generation. And we see this modeled by Jesus in the gospel of John 19:26-28. Here we find the story of Jesus on the cross as he speaks to his mother, Mary, and his disciple, John. In this passage, Jesus places the care of his mother in the hands of his beloved disciple.

After reading this passage, I began to wonder about the characteristics Jesus demonstrated through this act, even in the midst of his own suffering.

First, the scripture acknowledges that Jesus ‘saw’ his mother and his beloved disciple, John. The inclusion of the word ‘saw’ leads me to believe Jesus was intentional in noticing those around him. He recognized his mother and knew her needs. Jesus also recognized the disciple whom he loved, whose character he knew and whose resources he understood could support his mother. Jesus knew his mother would be taken care of when he was unable to physically provide the care she needed.

Secondly, the scripture acknowledges that Jesus communicated directly with his mother and with John. He acknowledged them individually and assigned them their new roles of mother and son. This change in role was critical given the pending transition that was happening in Jesus’ life. He needed to ensure there was a plan in place.

Lastly, the scripture acknowledges that after Jesus assigns the new roles to John and Mary, John proceeds to operate in his new role. John takes Mary into his home to care for her. He receives the new assignment and honors Jesus by executing his new role.

There is a lot the “Sandwich Generation” can learn from Jesus’ actions. If you’re someone who pastors individuals who are a part of this segment of society, there are specific actions you can take.

Steps for encouraging and supporting those in the Sandwich Generation:

1. Notice and Assess

Do you fully understand the needs that exist for you, your children, and your parents?
Have you considered and assessed all the resources you have access to, both in persons and in programs?

2. Consider Roles

What role are you playing in the lives of the people you are responsible for caring for?
Are there things you are doing that may be better delegated to someone else?
Are there roles only you can hold that you find yourself neglecting or underprioritizing?

3. Identify the Goal

Do you have a clear view of what a healthy approach to care – for yourself and others – really looks like?
Do you know what needs to be accomplished to attain that goal so all involved clearly understand how care can happen?

As we move forward in caring for those that God has placed in our care, let us not forget to consider those who are caring for others and who need care themselves. There are many that live within the “Sandwich Generation” that feel overlooked or forgotten. We can change that. We can disciple, encourage, support, and care for this unique group, just as we do all the others.

Three Keys to a Fantastic “Family Ministry Fall”

June 6, 2022 by Chris Sasser

Fall is always an exciting time in church world. People are coming off summer vacations, rest, and a different pace of life. They are typically ready to re-engage with church on some level. Kids move up into their new Sunday school class or small group. Then, youth group cranks back up with some kind of a Fall Kickoff that often involves some amazing creativity and energy. Finally, families are building a new rhythm, getting settled into new schedules. They’re deciding what they will make a priority in the new season. Will it be family ministry?

As church leaders, we often put lots of energy into planning a great fall launch for the ministries we lead. We want to create excitement and energy as people walk back into the doors of the church. And that can be great! But do we strategically embrace this season as a real opportunity to not only reel in kids and teens, but intentionally engage parents, too? We have the opportunity to equip and encourage the whole family along their journey of life and faith.

In addition to relaunching our children’s and youth ministries, what if we spent some time, thought, and energy into doing more? Let’s do things helpful not just to the kids and teens, but to the parents as well. What if we considered our fall through the lens of the whole family?

As you think though how you can kick off your fall for families, consider focusing on these three keys:

1. Take time to talk to parents.

We all know that to do effective ministry with kids and teens, it’s important to build relationships. We even call it “relational ministry.” The same is true with parents. If we are going to step into the world of helping families, we must be in relationship with them. We have to know their stories, their celebrations, their pains, and their struggles.

Early in the fall, add these two strategic things. Firstly, schedule individual times with parents (coffee, lunch, or phone conversations). Secondly, add more formal focus groups to listen to parents. You might be surprised at how much information and relational mileage you’ll get by simply gathering a group of parents and saying, “As the church, we want to partner with you as you raise your kids in the faith. What could that look like?”

2. Offer practical help for felt needs to families in your ministry.

As you spend time with parents, you’ll learn about their pain points. So, are they struggling with navigating screen time and social media? Has their teen started to vape and they have no idea how to handle it? Is their child struggling with friendships and becoming more isolated? Are their children walking away from faith and moving away from the church? Are their kids and teens asking tough questions about their identity?

When you hear about these issues, strategically offer spaces for parents that provide:

Opportunities to talk with other parents.
Education on topics and applicable ideas for what to do in their home.
Encouragement to hang in there.

These don’t have to be elaborate events with food, décor, and a complicated program. For example, a simple seminar with a trusted leader will go a long way towards helping parents feel like their church is “with them” in their struggle.

3. Create moments at church for the family ministry.

As individual programs crank back up and we step back into the tendency to silo kids, teens, and adults, look for opportunities to bring the whole family together. Again, don’t feel the pressure to have to plan big events.

Instead, look for ways to bring everyone together in the normal rhythm of your church:

Could Sunday school classes gather for 15 minutes of coffee, juice, and donuts all together instead of in their individual rooms?
Could you invite parents to the first half of youth group, let them see some of the “controlled chaos” and then offer snacks and prayer for them?
Could one Sunday service be for the whole family, suspending all classes for that day?

Brainstorm ways that bring together all life stages, fit your context, and intentionally support moments when the family can be all together.

One of the things I have started to say recently is this: Family ministry matters!

It matters because our families matter, no matter what they look like. It matters because kids and teens are formed and shaped most in the context of family. It matters because we are all a part of God’s family, the church, and we all have both the opportunity and the responsibility to care for the family.

As you prepare to step into the fall and a new season of ministry, think about how you can not only minister to kids and teens, but really minister to the whole family.

Interested in reading more about family ministry? Then check out Family Ministry Matters!

3 Questions To Ask Before Planning Your Next Youth Ministry Event In 2022

June 2, 2022 by Anthony Prince

More than ever, pressure is being put on ministry leaders to “bring people back” to church. As I’ve spent time with youth ministry leaders over the past year, I’ve noticed that the idea of large-scale youth ministry events being the fix-all solution has seen a resurgence amongst churches of various denominational backgrounds and sizes.

The encouragement to organize something big and far-reaching is often rooted in the belief that such events will be a momentum-building way to revitalize a youth ministry, post-pandemic. However, many peers in ministry (and you might be one of them) have been asked to put together a [hope-filled] silver bullet event without being told what, exactly, that means or what the expectations are, beyond the event.

Sound familiar? Check out this recent article by Rob Dyer:
“They’re Not Coming Back”

Because youth ministry is so much more than simply hosting a couple of pizza parties during the year for your congregation to see on social media, it’s important to ask yourself these 3 questions before planning the next youth ministry event at your church.

1. Would a parent move their calendar around to get their child to this event?

I begin with this question as someone who has written and spoken at great length about reaching out to modern families and understanding that not all youth have parents in their life who are working together to plan a cohesive calendar. Also, not every family’s priorities are the same – one family may be chasing year-round sports in hope of a one-day scholarship, while another may be so busy working multiple jobs to make ends-meet that planning ahead feels next to impossible. It will take some time for your team to think about families in your context and what kind of an event would feel worth moving their calendar around in order for their child to attend. With that said, your most effective youth ministry events will be the ones where youth and their parents guard that day on their calendar because they see the value in it.

Your most effective youth ministry events will be the ones where youth and their parents guard that day on their calendar because they see the value in it. Click To Tweet

When marketing a youth ministry event, keep in mind that you’re often marketing to the students in the family and their parents. Until they’re in their last years of high school, most teens aren’t driving themselves anywhere. Parents need to be a primary audience when it comes to some of your messaging, as do their kids. Churches tend to struggle at creating events that youth want to go to and parents understand the value of. If you’re planning an event that you want a student to show up at and you cannot name why a parent would move their calendar around for their child to attend, you should start your planning over.

2. Why would a student bring a friend to this event?

Our churches should never be just for those who are already in attendance and our youth ministry events should keep that idea in mind, as well. Aside from thinking through how you’re going to equip students to invite their friends to your events, you should also be asking yourself why a student would want to invite their friends to attend with them. If your events are announced in front of the congregation during your weekend services, consider naming this during that time – “This is a great event to bring your friends to because…”

If you’re unable to name why a student would want to invite a friend to your event, ask them. Ask your youth what kinds of events they’d definitely want to invite their friends to. We know one of the answers could be that large events provide a chance for visitors to take a first step into church life, outside of the intimidation of a worship setting. But that might not be compelling enough for your middle school gamer or high school athlete. So, as you consider the event’s purpose(s), ask your students what they think, too.

Whatever your answer is – make sure that you can name why a student would want to invite a friend to your next event. Because if they don’t know why they’d invite a friend, chances are they won’t.

3. What’s the next step for a student who attends?

It’s easy for those of us in church work to feel as though we’re becoming cruise directors at times; we run so many events that it’s easy to forget that we’re actually in the business of seeing lives changed by the Gospel of Jesus. So, before you plan your next event, consider what the next steps are for a student who attends. Are you creating a clear path from this event into your next weekend worship gathering? Do you have specific invitations available for camps, retreats, or small groups that you want to direct youth toward?

We run so many events that it’s easy to forget that we’re actually in the business of seeing lives changed by the Gospel of Jesus. Click To Tweet

Students won’t know what your objective is unless you’re intentional about making it known. Every event that you host at your church should lead a student toward the next step in their journey of faith – even if that next step is simply to go home and send a text to someone that night about where they’ve seen God at work in their lives during the week. As you plan your next event, make sure you’re putting just as much time (if not more!) into what you’re inviting them to next as you are investing into the planning of this event. What comes next matters just as much as what comes first.

Identifying what motivates parents to prioritize events, compels students to invite friends, and intrigues guests to return will narrow down a list of options that fits your specific community well. Even though youth ministry is SO MUCH MORE than running events, you can also do SO MUCH MORE than simply host a party. You can answer these three questions and plan an event with purpose.

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Family Ministry Matters!

March 10, 2022 by Chris Sasser

If I’m honest, I’m a little sad at the state of where our teens and young adults are today. It seems to be increasingly difficult for our kids to grow up and become mentally, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually healthy. It’s getting harder and harder for them to embrace the grace that God offers and truly live in the freedom of Christ. They have so much coming at them every day, and they often have no idea how to process it all.

Over the last ten years or so, I have come to believe that the best way to really help these kids, teens, and young adults is to focus more on those who have the greatest influence on them:

Their parents and leaders.

Don’t get me wrong, what we do directly for kids and teens in our churches really matters. My two children have greatly benefited from those people and programs that have fostered their faith over the years. I also know that many of us put a real emphasis on equipping and training teachers and leaders. We should.

But I wonder if, as we think about “family ministry,” we sometimes miss the boat. So, what should this endeavor look like? I’ve been working on a few projects over the past several years. And I have come to believe that what we really need is a whole family ministry. In most contexts, we think we have a family ministry. We put kids and teen programs under the same umbrella. We hope they play nice when it comes to money and facilities. And finally, we communicate about all we are doing for them at church. We can sometimes call it a ministry to the next generation. I’ve started calling it “Family Ministry 1.0″. If I’m honest though, I’m not sure that’s really a ministry for the whole family.

Most of us got into this kind of work because we love working with kids and teens. Although it has its share of challenges, it can be a lot of fun. We know that working with adults and parents is necessary, but it often doesn’t make our heart sing.

We may need to sacrifice some of our desire to work directly with kids and teens. In return, we may just get the impact with kids and teens that we so desperately want.

Put another way, if we want a ministry for the whole family with long-term impact, what we need is:

A solid ministry for children where we introduce them to the basics of faith. We help them build a strong foundation on Jesus.
A dynamic and engaging ministry for teens that helps them internalize their faith and make it their own. Somewhere they can learn how to live for Jesus every day.
A practical and helpful ministry for parents where we help them embrace their role as spiritual leaders. We can offer real encouragement and resources.

That’s a whole family ministry. It not only focuses on the kids which, if we’re honest, often come to us. It also puts real thought, time, energy, and resources into the parents and leaders who are called to lead these kids. I often hear parents say that they have lost hope and have no idea how to guide their kids. I often hear leaders say they feel ill-equipped to answer the tough questions that come their way, and they fear steering young people in the wrong direction. If the key adults in their lives don’t feel confident and equipped to lead, these kids will have little to no chance at coming out on the other side of their adolescent journey with a healthy sense of self and a solid faith in Christ. If these same key adults do feel equipped, hopeful, and ready, the kids and teens will no doubt have a better chance to succeed. I feel like our job is to equip and encourage those who are leading these kids, teens, and young adults.

Ephesians 4:11-12 tells us, “So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.”

That’s our job. Not only do we need to minister to the kids and teens who are in our midst, we need to do everything we can to make sure we are investing in and equipping the teachers and leaders who influence these kids at church. Find people who have authentic faith and can build relationships with kids and teens. Train these people and help them be prepared for the issues and questions that will come their way.

But – we REALLY need to do everything we can to equip and encourage the parents who influence these kids at home. We need to build a real ministry to parents that is relevant, helpful, hopeful, and proactive in providing parents with what they need to lead their kids in life and faith. Building this kind of ministry matters!

It matters because…

Our kids matter, and they need help.

The world is changing fast, and we need to keep up.

Parents and leaders often get discouraged and don’t know what we are doing.

It’s what God has called us to do.

As you continue to evaluate how you might better step into the specific ministry God has called you to, think about how you can be a part of building a ministry that isn’t for the family in name only, but a ministry that targets the whole family and truly helps them step into the vision God has for them. I know you might be overwhelmed with all that you currently have to do, and you likely don’t have the bandwidth to add something else. You should know that there are churches and ministries who are working hard to figure this out and step into a ministry that is truly for the whole family. You should also know that you can do it, too.

To learn more from Chris and how to structure your ministry for the whole family, join our 2022 Whole Family Ministry Cohort. Spots are available through March 31st.

Questions to Ponder:

Are the leaders under my care trained and ready to shepherd the kids and teens who come their way?

How can I insure the parents in my sphere are hopeful and equipped to lead the kids God has given them?

What things do I need to delegate or let go of in order to give energy towards truly equipping and encouraging leaders and parents in my context?

What is my next step?

Congregations Make Great Building Partners

August 5, 2019 by David Carroll

It Starts with an Idea …

*It often takes the right building partner*
*to get the job done.*

… because someone, an individual or a group, has identified a need, or they’ve identified a problem in the community. And they either think or say, “Somebody ought to do something about this.” And then the wheels begin to turn. An individual has a need, a community has a problem, and somebody is able to see it as an opportunity to build something.

Sometimes that somebody realizes or decides that the Church can help.

Partnering Is Something That Churches Are Highly Equipped to Do

Congregations often get involved when a church member or church leader sees a need or has a really fine idea. Take, for example, the following:

The church that adopts a school in response to the uniform or supply needs of local students.
The church whose volunteers address housing needs in the community by renovating or building homes.
The church that sends a family across the world to offer support to a struggling missionary family in Indonesia.
The church that provides bus pick-up for kids at a nearby trailer park who otherwise would have no church access or interest.

And the Church has been partnering for a long time. Seeing uneducated children roaming the streets, it was Roberts Raikes who with the help of Methodists in Gloucester, England, started the first Sunday School in 1780. Not to mention, many of our world’s greatest educational institutions and hospital/health systems are the result of great partnerships in or with the Church.

Let the Church Set the Table

One of the great things about the Church as a partner is that it brings so much to the table. The highly motivated church brings volunteers, money, ideas, various forms of expertise, leadership, organization, a desire to serve,… Click To Tweet

Sometimes a community agency does great work and offers significant expertise, but needs additional financial or volunteer resources that the church can provide. Why not give the church a chance?

A Few Tips If You Have the Idea or See the Need

Start with your pastor. If you can get the congregation’s leader involved, he or she may be able to point other people and resources your way.
Be ready to roll up your own sleeves. If you’re not convinced enough to get involved yourself, don’t expect others to just do it for you.
Be ready to state the case. Develop a stump speech which will quickly and succinctly communicate why the need is so urgent or worthy of the congregation’s involvement. And know it by heart.

Don’t be afraid to dream big! Big ideas often bring whole groups of churches and people together, even denominations and nations. But remember that the biggest of things all started with the smallest of thoughts. Click To Tweet

But the smallest of challenges is worthy of your effort. A cup of cold water for a thirsty stranger makes Jesus smile.

A Few Tips If You Want Your Church to Partner with Worthy Causes

Work to see that your congregation has a worthy vision for itself, that recognizes its calling to address the needs of the world around it. Unless a church has a strong vision, it can lack the motivation for creative partnerships.
Become the champion for partnering through your congregation. Become the eyes and ears of the congregation in the community, looking and listening to identify the needs of people around you.
Encourage an entrepreneurial ministry mindset that encourages investment in causes and partnerships.
If your church decides to become a partner in ministry, make sure to develop a relationship agreement that states the purpose of the partnership, as well as what the church and others involved are offering and expecting. Relationship agreements are not contractual, i.e. they may be entered into or withdrawn from at any time. They simply reflect an agreed understanding.

A Few Tips If Your Agency Outside the Church Needs Help That the Church Can Bring

Ask your board of directors, staff, or volunteers if they are in churches that may be prepared to help, and ask them to go with you as you visit the pastor.
Be prepared to show how your agency will be significantly helped, how church members will be involved in meaningful work, and even how you will be able to relate what they are doing to the faith journey that they are walking.
If your agency decides to partner with a church, make sure to develop a relationship agreement (see above) so that roles and expectations are clear.

Conclusion

Sometimes the Church lights the fire; sometimes it adds more fuel, sometimes it tends the fire that runs the engine. But a congregation can be a GREAT partner in addressing the needs of people. Click To Tweet

If you want to explore more about engaging the Church as a ministry partner, email me at david.carroll@ministryarchitects.com. I’d love to spend some time talking with you about bringing people and churches together for the good of all God’s children.

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Discipling The Sandwich Generation

We are a part of The Sandwich Generation.

After reading this passage, I began to wonder about the characteristics Jesus demonstrated through this act, even in the midst of his own suffering.

Steps for encouraging and supporting those in the Sandwich Generation:

1. Notice and Assess

2. Consider Roles

3. Identify the Goal

Three Keys to a Fantastic “Family Ministry Fall”

1. Take time to talk to parents.

2. Offer practical help for felt needs to families in your ministry.

When you hear about these issues, strategically offer spaces for parents that provide:

3. Create moments at church for the family ministry.

Instead, look for ways to bring everyone together in the normal rhythm of your church:

One of the things I have started to say recently is this: Family ministry matters!

Interested in reading more about family ministry? Then check out Family Ministry Matters!

3 Questions To Ask Before Planning Your Next Youth Ministry Event In 2022

Sound familiar? Check out this recent article by Rob Dyer:
“They’re Not Coming Back”

1. Would a parent move their calendar around to get their child to this event?

2. Why would a student bring a friend to this event?

3. What’s the next step for a student who attends?

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Family Ministry Matters!

Their parents and leaders.

We may need to sacrifice some of our desire to work directly with kids and teens. In return, we may just get the impact with kids and teens that we so desperately want.

Put another way, if we want a ministry for the whole family with long-term impact, what we need is:

Ephesians 4:11-12 tells us, “So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.”

It matters because…

Questions to Ponder:

Congregations Make Great Building Partners

It Starts with an Idea …

Partnering Is Something That Churches Are Highly Equipped to Do

Let the Church Set the Table

A Few Tips If You Have the Idea or See the Need

A Few Tips If You Want Your Church to Partner with Worthy Causes

A Few Tips If Your Agency Outside the Church Needs Help That the Church Can Bring

Conclusion

WHO ARE WE?

Ministry Architects

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Partnership

We are a part of The Sandwich Generation.

After reading this passage, I began to wonder about the characteristics Jesus demonstrated through this act, even in the midst of his own suffering.

Steps for encouraging and supporting those in the Sandwich Generation:

1. Notice and Assess

2. Consider Roles

3. Identify the Goal

1. Take time to talk to parents.

2. Offer practical help for felt needs to families in your ministry.

When you hear about these issues, strategically offer spaces for parents that provide:

3. Create moments at church for the family ministry.

Instead, look for ways to bring everyone together in the normal rhythm of your church:

One of the things I have started to say recently is this: Family ministry matters!

Interested in reading more about family ministry? Then check out Family Ministry Matters!

Sound familiar? Check out this recent article by Rob Dyer:“They’re Not Coming Back”

1. Would a parent move their calendar around to get their child to this event?

2. Why would a student bring a friend to this event?

3. What’s the next step for a student who attends?

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Their parents and leaders.

We may need to sacrifice some of our desire to work directly with kids and teens. In return, we may just get the impact with kids and teens that we so desperately want.

Put another way, if we want a ministry for the whole family with long-term impact, what we need is:

Ephesians 4:11-12 tells us, “So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.”

It matters because…

Questions to Ponder:

It Starts with an Idea …

Partnering Is Something That Churches Are Highly Equipped to Do

Let the Church Set the Table

A Few Tips If You Have the Idea or See the Need

A Few Tips If You Want Your Church to Partner with Worthy Causes

A Few Tips If Your Agency Outside the Church Needs Help That the Church Can Bring

Conclusion

WANT TO WORK WITH US?

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WHO ARE WE?

Ministry Architects

Sound familiar? Check out this recent article by Rob Dyer:
“They’re Not Coming Back”

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