If you’re thinking about how to connect well with kids of all abilities and backgrounds, one of the first questions you may be asking is: should we try for an inclusive space or create a completely separate special needs ministry?
And my answer is always: yes!
Inclusion allows our kids with disabilities or special needs to learn about Jesus with their peers. And, it allows our typical kids to grow in understanding and compassion for others. But there are times when, no matter how much your ministry desires to embrace inclusion, a separate space will be needed. So it’s helpful to have a both/and mindset.
You know what else is helpful to consider when starting out?
This list:
1. Utilizing Space for Special Needs Ministry
Space, it’s not just the final frontier. Intentional space can allow your church to welcome people with higher-level sensory needs. If you have extra space, a nice, quiet area with low lighting usually does the trick in creating a quiet place for children who are easily overwhelmed. Equip the space with a few soft items such as bean bag chairs, weighted blankets, and quiet activities, and you have yourself a sensory room.
I prefer to include all the kids in the same space. However, some children may not be able to participate if they do not have a separate space. Space may be what holds you back from having a separate quiet or sensory area, but it does not need to keep you from serving families with sensory needs.
2. Inviting People
The greatest (and least expensive) resource you need. If space is not an abundant resource for you, how about people? Creating a one-on-one buddy system may make the difference between a family attending church, or not.
I know what you’re thinking, “But we’re in constant need of volunteers for what already exists!” But did you know that buddies tend to be a popular volunteer position? This is especially true for youth who want to serve.
A buddy’s one goal is to help a child be successful. And the outcome of that success is often an entire family attends your church, knowing their kid is safe and well-cared for. So it’s just good ministry math to add this role to your roster.
3. Traveling with Tools for Special Needs Ministry
Fun fact: the greatest tools I have used to serve children who are neurodiverse fit in one small backpack. If your church does not have a designated sensory space, a sensory bag may do the trick. I like to provide my buddies with a simple backpack to carry for the children they serve.
What’s in the bag?
It depends on the needs of the child, but here are a few favorites:
- Headphones
- Laminated picture schedule
- A fidget
- Playdough
- Timer
4. Sharing Awareness
Be curious, not judgmental; this is more than just a quote debated for who said it first (was it Walt Whitman or Ted Lasso?) it’s an invitation for everyone to learn and grow.
Create awareness amongst the church, volunteers, and even the children by helping everyone understand that different people learn, engage, and participate differently. Thus, meeting those differences with the same grace and diversity of resources can make all the difference when it comes to the strength of connection, the ability to be present, and the experience of feeling welcome.
Take a look at Luke 14 and ask the question of who Jesus was inviting to the table. The blind, the crippled, the lame, and the poor. (Also, if your church is stuck on what are the proper terms for families with special needs, Luke 14 will help you see that those terms change all the time.)
5. Establishing A Family Room
A new addition in many churches is a family-friendly sensory room. This is a space that allows parents to listen to the message being streamed while their children are safely in the room with them. These rooms are equipped like a sensory room with low lighting, soft seating, and quiet activities like fidgets. The upside is there is no need for additional volunteers and parents get to connect with one another.
In a perfect world, I would offer an inclusive buddy ministry with the option of a quiet, separate sensory room. But most of us don’t live in that space-abundant, perfect world. So we do what we can with what we have, taking the steps we can now to move forward into our next.
A family our church served in a weekend respite program could not safely be welcomed in our Sunday service until we made a few significant changes. It took us two years to make those changes. But each little step forward kept us moving in the right direction until, eventually, the entire family could be present on Sundays.
So what do we do, in the meantime, when it’s not safe for a child to attend without a separate space for special needs ministry?
We welcome families safely by using the resources we have, understanding that for some of our families, the safest answer for their children may not be no, it just might be not now. Hear me: this is not a no. Instead, it is an opportunity to work with the family, walking through the list above to consider the best, safest way to welcome their whole family.
And if you want to talk through what a first step can look like in your ministry world, please click here and let’s connect.
Kerri-Ann Hayes
kerri-ann.hayes@ministryarchitects.com
Kerri-Ann Hayes has been a children’s and family ministry leader in Central Florida since the late 1990s. She has led children’s ministry in both single and multi-site churches. Kerri-Ann has a Disney family heritage, a hospitality management background, and a love for the local church that all shifted nicely into the world of family ministry. During her years of serving families, Kerri-Ann developed a passion for those struggling to find their place in the church due to the special needs of their children. She loves supporting and equipping churches to be accessible to families with special needs or traumatic backgrounds and is the author of The Accessible Church. Kerri-Ann and her husband, Tom, live in Clermont, Florida, where they raised their three children.