Full Show Notes
Today we talk with the author of “BAGS,” Chris Sasser, who names the 8 common bags we carry, identifies the heaviest bags, and provides tips for parents who want to help their kids lighten the load.
- What can I do as a parent (for my kids during the age of 5 and 25) to help my kids get to their young adult years and just not pack those BAGS?
- As leaders and parents we have the opportunity to pay attention to the bags that our kids might be packing and we can actively work to help them lighten the load along the way.
- 8 Common Bags
- Relational Bags (with parents, siblings, peers)
- Performance Bags (academics, sports, social media
- Identity Bags (belonging and purpose – who am I, where do I fit, who is my tribe)
- Comparison Bags (comparison with siblings, comparing with others in the world, teammates, classmates, class rank)
- Authority Bags (who’s in charge of me? Is there a higher power?)
- Rejection Bags (get rejected by friendships, don’t make the team, don’t get the part in the play, not in the honor society)
- Guilt and Shame Bags (sexual thoughts, decisions, choices that they make, and other things)
- Disappointment Bags (dealing with disappointments of life)
- Not every teenager or young adult is struggling with every bag.
- Relational baggage will be a part of our lives all the time. If we are not learning how to deal with our relationships in a good healthy way, then the relational baggage is just going to pile up in a lot of different ways.
- The performance bag is super heavy. Kids have to perform all the time, everywhere, and culture teaches them that if you don’t perform, you’re not good enough, and you’re going to fall behind, and you’re not going to get where you want to get.
- What if we as parents reduced the pressure at home? What if home was a place where our kids can feel a sense of refuge from the performance pressure they feel nonstop?
- There’s just these subtle things we do as adults that if we don’t pay attention to, how we are eroding the view of authority with our kids, their going to pack some tremendous baggage and there’s going to be some big consequences for them down the road.
- As parents we need to focus on connection over content.
- I think if we build the connection that God wants us to have with our kids, then we’re going to be able to pay attention to all of this stuff that’s going on with them in a much deeper way than if we are disconnected from them.
- I redefined what successes was a parent. Success now is this: I want my kids to be healthy relationally, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And if I can get my kids to their young adult years and they can be healthy in those 4 areas, I don’t care where they work or what they’re doing – my goal is not success, my goal is health.
Visit the BAGS website.
Purchase the book: BAGS: Helping Your Kids Lighten the Load