Episode 173: How to Give & Receive Coaching to Unleash Your Ministry’s Potential
This episode cracks the code on coaching. Whether you’re coaching your team or connecting with a ministry coach of your own, you’ll learn how to maximize the impact of the each insight and unlock hidden potential.
Show Notes:
- Key aspects of coaching:
- Helping someone understand that they’re not alone. The things they are struggling with and feeling, the challenges they are facing, and the issues they see are normal. Often people feel like they’re the only one and that they shouldn’t be struggling with it.Make sure you are coaching rather than actually solving the problems and doing the work for the person.
- Example: a baseball coach doesn’t hit the baseball for the player but helps them learn to swing and how to hit the ball. Consider, how you can help the team win the game without ever playing in the game.
- Consulting is often more corporate and coaching is more of the personal aspect of helping someone.
- How do we lead people into a coaching relationship in such a way that someone going into coaching is not resistant?
- The most important thing is that the person being coached can see that the person leading them (probably the person getting the coaching for them) is in their corner. So as leaders, we have to build that relationship, trust, and confidence first in order to maximize the coaching experience for our people.They can’t feel that the coaching is a threat. Otherwise, it will be hampered from the start and be an uphill battle.
- It depends on the person. Sometimes, they are already off and running as soon as the coaching ends. Other times, we need to summarize the call with the action items, then check in during the month and give reminders, and then check in once more when we talk next.Ask a key question like, “That’s a great idea. What are the next steps?”Another good question is, “What is taking up brain space that shouldn’t be taking up brain space?” That helps surface things that need to have actions taken around them.
- First, don’t dismiss what someone is experiencing. Listen well.Second, build the expectation that when people come with problems, they also come with suggested solutions.Also, remember that you don’t have to solve the whole problem the first time you talk about it. Let’s take a step or two that will decrease the problem and increase your joy some (even 10%), and then go from there. This helps remove the excuses. If you do that, and they are STILL constantly complaining, THEY might be the problem. They might be in a “Whoa is me,” kind of attitude.
- If you see this, it could just be that they don’t actually KNOW what steps to take to help solve problems. All they feel they can do is point to problems!“It’s not about the nail” video.
- Also, name the issue! “It seems like this isn’t your favorite thing. How can I make this coaching more helpful and enjoyable for you?”It could also be that a particular coach isn’t the best fit for that person. That’s OK! Work to find another voice that can give input to them.Coaching is a trust-dependent relationship, so if that trust can’t be built, let’s not waste our time. Let’s find someone who fits with you better.If you the one receiving coaching, don’t be afraid to say that out loud (that you don’t feel like you’re connecting very well).As a coach, we must manage our own anxiety first. We have to not be worried about how well it will go and how they will accept us. It can’t be about us and our identity and how we feel about ourselves.
- “If I have to be the doormat for a minute, in order for you to get through the door, it’s worth it.” -Mike Crane
- Helping someone understand that they’re not alone. The things they are struggling with and feeling, the challenges they are facing, and the issues they see are normal. Often people feel like they’re the only one and that they shouldn’t be struggling with it.Make sure you are coaching rather than actually solving the problems and doing the work for the person.