Where Have All The Children Gone?

When children inhabit a church, there is an energy that emerges. We observe this energy in the sound of an infant’s cry or in a child’s laughter. We watch children wiggle in their seats and excitedly move from one place to the next. When people see children in a church, they often picture these children growing up to be followers of Jesus. 

Unfortunately, church attendance in America has declined significantly in recent years. Moreover, many churches have even closed their doors. Whether this is due to families prioritizing other activities or aging congregations, a common question we receive from many churches is this: Where are the children? 

Is your church asking, “Where are the children?”

When asked where the children have gone, I ask a follow-up question. What is available for children at your church? Often, in many older congregations, the answer is nothing. Since no children attend their church, they do not provide any programming for children. 

If a family visits a restaurant with only fancy food and no kids’ menu, do you think the family will return to the restaurant for a family dinner? I think not. When a young family enters a church with no programming for children, it communicates that children aren’t welcome. In fact, children have not even been considered. Therefore, it’s important to plan for the children, even if they haven’t come yet.

What can your church offer for children who enter the building on a Sunday morning?

Five strategic ways to invite children and families into your church:

1. Are Kids Really Welcome? Start by asking this question, and then be sure to have something available for children when they arrive. Here are some ideas:
   • Nursery care: If a family arrives with a baby or toddler, have two trusted, background-checked volunteers on call to offer care for the children.  
   • Kids’ Worship Bags: Create a handful of bags that include things like coloring sheets, crayons, pipe cleaners, and a quiet fidget toy or two. 
   • Children’s Moment: Offer a time in the worship service when the pastor invites children to participate in a brief, kid-friendly devotion. I find that these child-centered moments can be pretty meaningful for both children and adults. 
   • Class for Children: Provide a child-friendly space for children to gather. Have a few user-friendly lessons, complete with crafts and games, ready to go. Just two trusted, background-checked volunteers on call for when families with children visit your church is all it takes. 
2. Target Audience: Compile a list of places where children are showing up. Create a flyer or colorful postcard with church information and ask to display it on a bulletin board. Here are some places to consider:
   • Preschools/Elementary schools
   • Sports leagues (soccer, t-ball, basketball, etc.)
   • Scouts
   • Gyms
3. Non-Traditional Church Attendance: Some families may never attend a worship service, yet they will visit a church for child-friendly programs and events. Offer opportunities for families to enjoy time on your campus. Here are some ideas:
   • Toddler Gym: Plan a playdate in the church’s gym (or large gathering area). Set up a safe play area and invite families to bring their toddlers to play together during a set period of time during the week.
   • Scouts: Provide places in your church for Scouts to hold their regular meetings. Consider hosting a Scout Sunday where you honor the Scouts who meet in the building. 
   • Holiday Events: Families enjoy participating in holiday events. Consider ways that your church can use holiday events to invite families onto your campus.
     • Easter: Invite families to an Easter Egg Hunt or an Easter breakfast.
     • Mother’s Day or Father’s Day: Invite families to join you for Muffins with Mom or host a Mom & Me afternoon tea party. Or host a “Donuts with Dad” breakfast. 
     • Fall Festivals: Create an outdoor fall festival, such as a Trunk or Treat, a glow party, or a pumpkin-decorating party. 
     • Christmas: Offer a Christmas party for children, a family Christmas service, or a Christmas Craft Night. 
4. Bring Church to the Families: Families who may never enter your building can learn about your church by taking your church to the families.
   • Parent Tent: Set up a tent at a local community gathering. Provide a quiet, private place for Moms to nurse. Include a rocking chair, a changing table, bottles of water, and other soothing items for parents and caregivers, as well as their children.
   • Craft Tent: Offer to set up a craft tent at a local community gathering, complete with various crafts, all materials needed, and friendly volunteers to assist children with crafts. 
   • Tournaments & More: Consider setting up a table during a sports tournament, school carnival, or at another gathering time. Use this time to show how your church loves children. Give away free candy and a church flyer or postcards. 
5. Communication: Many churches offer seasonal events for families, yet they often overlook the most important step: follow-up. Any organization can host a party or festival, but the Church offers more than a fun, free afternoon. We can display the character of Jesus to the families who attend long after the event is over. Here are some helpful follow-up tips and tricks:
   • Signage: Provide signage that shows families who your church is. Consider using a printed tablecloth with the church or ministry logo, print-outs in clear acrylic frames, or an attractive sandwich board.
   • Flyers/Postcards: Create a simple, attractive flyer or oversized postcard that describes regular programming for children and families. Include ages, days, times, locations, and a brief description of programming. Bring flyers to any event you host and give one to each participating family.
   • Vibrant Volunteers: Invite extroverted, friendly volunteers to serve at community events. Give them simple instructions: Be friendly, introduce themselves, talk to the children first, invite families to come to church for the next worship service, program, or event.

Bonus: Follow-Up

Do you collect information from families who attend your events? Create a simple Google form to gather family contact information (children’s names, children’s birth dates, parent(s) name(s), parent(s) email address, parent’s cell phone number, mailing address). Have families scan a QR code to complete the form. You can also print postcard-sized contact cards for families to complete the same information. Use the information you gather to send updates to families.

• General Information: Send an email to visiting families telling them about upcoming events and regular programming. Include details about the upcoming special event, along with contact information (church or ministry website, social media, and/or staff email address).
• Personal Contact: A personal contact goes a long way. Invite a group of volunteers to contact those who complete the contact cards, expressing gratitude for their attendance at the event and inviting them to the next one.

Final Thought

We can continue to hope that young families will naturally return to our churches—or instead, we can take intentional action. Let’s choose to anticipate, invite, and welcome them. Let’s meet them where they are, prepare well for their arrival, and show the love of Jesus in every interaction. Families are longing for belonging. Let’s make sure they know your church is ready!

Want to talk more about children in your church? Schedule a call here.